Find Your Flow

Rather than trying to eliminate stress, find your flow within it.

Think about how much energy you could expend trying to eliminate stress from your life.  We’re bombarded with messages telling us to eliminate or reduce stress in our lives.  That’s a great goal and I’m a proponent of that philosophy.  Most days. 

But what about the day to day stuff that just crops up? 

Or the ongoing stress of life that just IS?  I mean, stuff happens, right?

What about practicing a new mindset during the times when you find yourself in the midst of a stressful situation? 

Find your flow. 

Step back, detach for just a minute, and notice that everything in your life has a cycle.  Everything has an ebb and flow.  Even stressful situations. 

How can you find your flow within the stress? 

Instead of resisting the stress, acknowledge it and ride it.  Think about the difference between swimming against versus with the current.  Which takes more effort?  Which gets you farther?

Finding your flow within the stress doesn’t mean allowing the stress to overtake you. 

Finding your flow within the stress does mean entering the situation with the intent to detach, observe and evaluate before you act.

Finding your flow within the stress means finding the path that allows you to move forward in a productive manner. 

Finding your flow means taking a deep breath (or two or three) and relaxing, knowing that this too shall pass.  All of life is cyclical.  Everything has its season, a natural ebb and flow.  Flow within that.

Tell me, how do YOU find your flow within a stressful situation?  What’s one helpful tip you have to share with others about how to flow with stress instead of against it?

Here’s to “finding your flow”!
~Margie 

P.S.  I’ll bet you know a couple of people who’d enjoy reading this.  I’d be honored if you would send ‘em the link to my blog!

‘Tis the Season … Already?

HO, HO, HO! 

Just kidding.  It’s not quite that time of year.  

No, the season I’m talking about is happening right now, mid-August. 

It’s Back-to-School season. 

Think of all the hallmarks of “the season”:  There’s the rush of shopping for back-to-school clothes, supplies, and lunches.  There are last-minute vacations to be planned and squeezed into the schedule.  There are end-of-summer family get-togethers.  Sound familiar?  Yep.  It’s a holiday season alright. Is it “back-to-school” for your household?  You might be sending someone off to college or kindergarten or any grade in between.  Or you might be like me and not be sending anyone anywhere.  And yet, there’s change in the air, isn’t there?  There’s a feeling of unity about it.  And “back-to-school” is all that anyone is talking about. 

How can you best manage this transitional season?  I know you’ve got everything under control as far as getting the kids’ needs met (yeah, I see you rolling your eyes).  So instead, I’d like to make a few suggestions for YOU, about caring for yourself during this season. 

I invite you to find a quiet spot and take a few minutes to reflect …

1.   How are you feeling?  Acknowledge your feelings.  Whatever they are, they’re yours.  You might be feeling a mixture of sadness and happiness.  I mean, heck, there are definitely pros and cons to having the kids back in school.  And if you don’t have kids, there are pros and cons to summer coming to a close.  Either way, how are YOU feeling about this season in your life?  Articulate those feelings and take a few minutes to actually feel them.  We expend too much energy running around denying how we’re feeling.  And guess what?  That doesn’t make the feelings go away.  Give it a try.  Give your feelings some air to breathe.  

2.   Focus.  What adventures did you have this summer?  Pull up memories from these past couple of months.  Savor them.  What were you doing?  Where were you?  Who was there?  What was so fun about it?  Paint a vivid picture in your head of some of those super swell moments.  Then you can replay them later to entertain you and bring you joy any time you desire.  Keeping the season alive all year long, so to speak.  

3.   What’s missing?  For many women the summer changes our routine into a non-routine.  Summer has its own rhythm, that’s for sure.  But you might find that you really miss some aspect of your school-year schedule.  What is it?  Were you regularly making time to meet a friend for coffee before summer started?  Until a couple of months ago, maybe you were in the habit of organizing the coming work week on Fridays before leaving the office; and all summer long you ended up flying out of the office on Friday to get the weekend started?  Or maybe your twice-a-week walking routine became sporadic, at best, this summer.  Take a minute to reflect.  See if you’ve got one or two things that have gone by the wayside this summer.  And look forward to resuming them this fall.

Let’s celebrate the changing of the season! 

Reflect upon and “pack up” the summer season.  Look forward to starting the next season.  Anticipate making your school-year schedule a great one.  After all, it’s a new season.  It’s a chance to create a new routine or improve part of your routine.  It’s a chance to create some new “back to school” traditions.  What will they be?!  

 

How will YOU celebrate the changing of the season?  I’d love to hear your ideas. Please share your comments and celebration ideas.  Hope to hear from you soon!

Cheers to the changing of the season!
~Margie  

 

Getting Away from it All

I don’t know about you, but I sure could use a break from my routine.    

Of course, the first thing I find myself thinking is “I need a vacation!”  Wait a minute.  Hmm, I remember now, I just returned from a relaxing vacation a few weeks ago.  Funny how quickly that wears off.  Oh my.  I certainly can’t go off on vacation every few weeks.  So, what’s a girl to do?     

Oh, that’s right, I don’t need to wait for a vacation in order to get a break from my routine and score some rest and relaxation.  I can build some R&R right into my week.  And so can you!   C’mon, let’s take a look at just how easy it is to treat yourself to a mini-vacation any day, anywhere, anytime you need it.  Here are a few ideas to get you started.   

1.  Rest.   Even for a minute.  Okay, 15 minutes would be even better.  Can you steal away from the hustle and bustle for just a few minutes today?  Maybe you can sit in your car for a few minutes.  (Do I need to say that the car would be parked while you do this?  Just checking.)  Or how about after dinner is finished and the kids are occupied elsewhere?  You could take a few minutes to relax in a quiet area of the house.  The dishes and whatever else is on the evening’s agenda will certainly wait.  Or you could take a short, leisurely stroll.  Now that you’ve found a spot to relax for a few minutes, close your eyes and conjure up a pleasant memory.  It could be a memory from a great vacation or it could be from earlier this week.  It doesn’t have to be momentous, just pleasurable.  Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and recall the details of that memory.  Who is with you?  Are there any special scents or sounds?  Where are you?  What does it look like?  What are you doing?  How does it make you feel?  Describe it in as much detail as you can recall.  Then take a few minutes to feel it and really savor it.  Maybe you could even share the recollection with someone!  Notice how relaxed you feel and how happy that memory makes you.    

2.  Splurge.   Think about something you would “splurge” on while vacationing.  A mani/pedi?  A massage?  New summer sandals?  A decadent dessert?  Choose a “splurge” item and do it.  Just for you.  Pay attention to it.  Enjoy your massage and feel how luxurious it is to be pampered.  Enjoy selecting some sultry summer sandals; then show them off and tell your friends that you bought them on vacation.  Hee, hee.  Have fun with your splurge!   

3.  Play.   You can do it.  Have some fun.  Carve out 15 minutes to do something fun and silly.  Go down the slide.  Blow bubbles.  Do the hula hoop.  Play Guitar Hero on the demo at the electronics store with all the kids.  Run through the sprinkler.  Jump rope.  Just plain goof off.  If you can round up some kids to play with you, all the better!  Smile.  Have fun.  Feel your heart pumping and yourself grinning from ear to ear.  Who knows, maybe you’ll end up making a regular “play date” with your new pals.  It could happen.   

Bottom line:  Ask yourself how a really good vacation makes you feel.  And then find a way to incorporate a little of that feeling into your week right now, right here, without ever booking a flight or packing the car.  Why wait for the next scheduled vacation to get some R&R and have a little fun?  Me?  I’m gonna sit outside, surrounded by nature and read a good book.  That’s one of my favorite vacation activities.  Here I go.   

What will YOU do this week to have a little mini-vacation?  Let me know what you come up with.  I’d love to hear your ideas!   

Have a great mini-vacation!
~Margie

How to Grow Your Dreams

I read an intriguing statement the other day that I want to share with you:

Treat your dreams as you would a garden – give them room to grow!

This is a wonderful analogy, especially for spring.  So, here I am thinking about the basics of gardening and wondering how it applies to growing a dream.  Of course, the first place I went for more information was the internet.   😉   And look what I found – a simple three step summary fo creating a garden.  (http://www.kraftbrands.com/homefarming) 

Let’s use this as a starting point and apply the three steps to growing our dreams.  Get your pen and paper ready.  This is for YOU and your dreams.  C’mon, let’s grow a dream together!

1.  “Plant the seeds:  The wonder of a home garden starts off with something so small.  Sowing your seeds is easy and fun.”

It’s true, isn’t it?  If you let yourself dream, it’s easy and FUN!   And that’s the starting place.  You can’t grow your dream if you don’t have one in mind.  Hmm, what’s your dream?  Which one do you want to plant this spring?  Choose a dream that’s meaningful to you.  Perhaps you have a dream that you’ve ignored or put off?  Close your eyes, take a few slow breaths, and concentrate.  Which of your dreams is it time to pay attention to?  Name it.  Write it down.  That’s the first step to “growing it” into reality.

2.  “Grow Good Stuff:  It’s simple to nurture your plants with what they need and they’ll repay you with a bounty of good eating.”

Aha!  We know that we need to tend our garden on a regular basis if we want to reap the benefits.  A garden must be nurtured.  The same for our dreams.  It’s not enough to write down a dream and then set it aside hoping that something wonderful will sprout.  So let’s tend to the dream that you wrote down.  The growing period for a dream can be a lengthy one.  Why not break it down into smaller steps?  That’s in essence what you do when you water and weed your garden daily (or every few days).  It doesn’t work very well to water and weed only once every month or two, does it?  A healthy, productive garden requires regular, small doses of care.  So, what part of your dream can you start with?  Create a list of very small, very doable steps that you can take toward making your dream a reality.

Nurture your dream by breaking it down into smaller and smaller steps.  And begin by taking one small step.  Just one.  That’s the starting point.  One small step at a time.  Continue listing the steps you can take and choose one to move forward with.  Guess what?  Your dream will grow – slowly and steadily – one step at a time.

3.  “Harvest and Share:  Enjoy the fruits and vegetables of your labors.  Spread the joy around your table and your neighborhood.”

What do we do when our garden yields an abundance of delicious fruits and veggies?  Yep, we divvy it up and share.  And it’s so much fun!  Most people are happy to share our “bumper crop” and congratulate us on our bounty.  And what else often happens when we’re sharing our harvest?  Recipes are swapped and gardening stories are shared.  The same can be true for our dreams when they’re realized.  We can and should share that abundance and joy.  Others can share the “recipes” for their dreams and bolster us with their “dream gardening” stories.  Wouldn’t that be fun?!

Is there a dream that you’ve brought to fruition?  Think about that for a minute or two.  Often we gloss over our accomplishments and immediately move onto the next dream or project or item on our to-do list.  Take a breath and focus.  What dreams have you already realized?  How could you share the joy of that success with someone close to you?  How could someon else share in the abundance?  How can YOU celebrate and really enjoy the fruits of your labor?

 

Begin growing YOUR dream today! 
Write it down (plant the seed), take small steps (nurture it regularly), watch it GROW into reality, and then SHARE the joy and abundance of your dream-come-true (harvest and share).

Happy gardening!
~Margie

 

Indulgence isn’t a sign of failure

Indulgence isn’t a sign of failure; it’s an opportunity to experience pure pleasure.  Why do we go right to the negative? Why do we assume the posture of failure?  Why do we beat ourselves up if we indulge?  Why not change your perspective?  Why not look at indulgence – the word and the act – in a new light.  Are you entitled to some indulgences in your life?  Yes, you are!  (If you indulge every day in every way then the word and the actions lose their meaning – so that’s not the context I’m referring to here.)  Indulge.  Luxuriate.  Think about that.  Really let the words roll around in your head and on your tongue.  Say them out loud.  Slowly …  Indulge …  Luxuriate …  Ahhhh.  I like it!  They even SOUND wonderful and special.  Why not look at an occasional indulgence as a part of your life – a part of your life that you are entitled to? 

What can you consciously CHOOSE to indulge in today?  Choose something and then savor it.  Really soak it in.  Treat yourself.  And remind yourself that YOU are worth it!

Enjoy!
~Margie

The Secret of Happiness

Are you holding your breath, hoping I’ll reveal something that you don’t already know?  Or maybe you’re pretty sure that whatever I have to say won’t be new, but you’re curious to know just WHICH “secret” I’m going to reveal?  Well, no matter.  Here’s the scoop. 

Last night I attended a presentation at my local library and that was the title – The Secret of Happiness.  The presenter was a young women named Kelsang Kunshe.  She’s a Kadampa Buddhist nun with a melodic voice, calming presence, and beautiful smile.  Did she reveal some new secret to happiness?  Nope.  She reminded us of the age old wisdom that WE are our own source of happiness.  I know you know that.  It’s just that it’s easy to forget that nugget of wisdom and instead reach out to other things, people, places, etc. to “bring” us the happiness that we so desperately desire. Sigh.  It doesn’t work – at least not for long – does it?  No argument there. 

So what do we do?  Well, her advice is to meditate regularly.  We have scientific evidence that a daily meditation practice does indeed increase happiness and our sense of wellbeing.  I love that and I agree wholeheartedly. 

Here’s the interesting link for me – it’s all about training your mind.  Meditation trains your mind to stay present and not to resist ‘what is,’ whether that’s your thoughts or your current circumstances.  Life coaching dovetails nicely with this idea of training your mind.  Why let our negative thoughts run our lives?  I mean, really, what’s the benefit in that?  Okay, okay, sometimes you do have to consider the negative potential of something; I’ll give you that.  But do you really need to let those negative thoughts run amok as often as you do?  I vote NO!  C’mon, jump on the bandwagon with me and vote NO!  You can do it. 

Learn to choose your thoughts so that you feel happier and calmer more often and then act in a manner that brings you joy.  Every day.  No matter what life hands you.  I’ll leave you with a wonderful thought that Kelsang gave me last night.  It’s such a lovely gift that I want to share it with you.  I dare you to start thinking this thought.  Starting now…

“I  am an unlimited source of happiness!” 

Yep, YOU are the secret of your happiness.  Isn’t that a cool secret?  Enjoy!

~Margie

Spring into Action!

“The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost,
to reach eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experiences.”

 

-Eleanor Roosevelt-

Spring is a time of renewal.  Winter is receding and daylight is expanding.  What’s not to like?!  It makes me want to “spring into action” and I feel ready to take on the world.  How about you?  What would be a positive way to shake off winter and embrace a new season?  Maybe it’s time to renew your goals or try something new?  Maybe it’s time to do a deep cleaning … of your home, your wardrobe, your budget?  There are lots of ways to spring into action and celebrate renewal.  Let’s explore a few ideas to get your engine started.

Spring into Action! Idea #1:  Bring some joy into your life.  Let’s see, what has slipped over the winter months – Exercise? Meditation? Cooking healthy meals? Take a few moments to think about what’s gone by the wayside this winter – something that makes you feel good and that you’ve been missing – and then commit to bringing that joyful activity back into your day or week.   Why not start today?  Do some stretching exercises during a commercial break this evening, schedule a pedicure, put in a yoga DVD, take 5 minutes to meditate, or choose a healthy recipe (from that stack you’ve been adding to all winter) and put the ingredients on your grocery list.  And then smile!

Spring into Action! Idea #2:  Get organized.  If you’re like me, you’ve not only been stockpiling ideas from magazines like healthy recipes, but you’ve been creating a pile of clothes and other stuff that needs to go to charity.  Or maybe your purse is a mess from all the winter supplies we carry around – lozenges, tissues, lip balm, etc.  Take a deep breath.  And then choose one thing.  I’m not advocating a huge, tear-up-the-house-and-be-sorry-you-started-it project.  Oh no, I want you to start small and be successful.  Here’s my challenge to you:  choose something small that you can organize today (it could be your purse, one kitchen cabinet, or a corner of your bedroom) … and go to it.  Enjoy it!  Relish the feeling of accomplishment.

Spring into Action! Idea #3:  Buddy up and get outside.  Call a friend and make plans to get outside together.  Go for a walk together and discuss ways to help each other “spring into action” and how you can provide support for each other’s plans.  Or get together and do some spring planting.  Soak up some sunshine, convert that vitamin D, get a lift to your spirit, and grow something beautiful for yourself, your family, your neighborhood, or your community.  Make that call, send that email or text to someone you enjoy being with and celebrate the changing of the seasons today.

Spring into Action! Idea #4:  Spring clean your thoughts.  Shake off those winter doldrums and those thoughts that weigh you down.  When you find yourself thinking a repetitive negative thought, respond with an alternate thought that is believable and positive.  For example, when I think “There’s not enough time to exercise today” I can respond to my thought with “Okay, but I’ve got 1 minute right now while I’m in my car, so I can do some ab crunches while I sit at this stop light.”  Hey, I just turned around that negative thought, perked up my confidence, showed my brain that I DO have time to exercise today, and did something good for my body.  Small changes can have a BIG impact over time … give it a try.My Challenge to YOU:  Try something from my list or come up with your own “Spring into Action!” idea.  Let me know what YOU do to spring into action.  I love to hear all of your creative ideas and success stories! 

Spring into action today and enjoy the changing seasons!

~Margie